I can’t come to terms with the fact that I’m losing my father. He does not recognize anyone, he cannot be left alone, the family is exhausted. I myself almost do not recognize him-this is like a stranger, some kind of decrepit beast ..
I work a lot, my wife also works, we have small children. The opportunity to himself is constantly not to take care of him. The wife insists to give him to the nursing home, but my heart is bursting.
Old people who
lose their memory, clarity of consciousness and the remnants of independence, infinitely sorry. It’s hard to give a loved one to a “institution”, but you have to make a decision. You are exhausted and desperate because you are powerless to change anything: the circumstances of your life and work are such that softer solutions are impossible.
To love what remains of our once worthy loved ones is very difficult. He was once a good father, and you are a good son: here is true, and this is no longer changing.
Ask yourself about what is now moving: fear of an inevitable feeling of guilt, faith in the future punishment (many believe that, having determined the old man into the nursing home, they doom themselves to the same finale). And about who you really love: the person who raised you and was a good father, or “this unfamiliar”, as you write, “a decrepit beast” that lives now with your family.
This first goes farther from you, only the body shell is still recognizable, but it also changes quickly and irreversibly. You are afraid to lose the last thread connecting you with the past, childhood, youth, afraid to lose love. But you can’t return the life that they once gave us to parents. You can only convey it further.